Sora's Diary: 9th of Respl Air

9th of Resplendent Air, 7:30pm

So I have to start this journal over again for what I think is the 4th time. I think I finally know why the last three met with unfortunate ends (the chem club still isn’t sure what spilled on my second one to turn it to lead). I put out 10 sheets of paper and 6 notebooks (note to self, thank Nanami, AGAIN, for having on hand what I need) On 3/4ths of the two groups I put my not so secret ‘secret’ on or in them and on the others put some kind of fact about myself. I was going to leave them there overnight and in the morning start adding more information to them over time and wait to see if something would happen to them.

Well, I didn’t even get to bed after setting them all up. Our neighbor’s escaped mole rat got into our room and took the ‘secret’ papers and notebooks and made a nest out of them. Left the others alone.

So yeah, just as people don’t believe me about my secret, nor seem to remember being told the secret, I can’t write it down. I’m so frustrated at this point over this problem that I’m about to cry.

While I’m thinking about it, is there something wrong with girls? Before I was able to keep all my emotions in cheek. But now I’m constantly struggling to find my center. I asked Kialu Tiaga Sensei, she told me something about how boys couldn’t express their feeling properly or some such. Also I couldn’t ask her properly what was wrong with me, and had to ask my questions as if for “a friend”. Now she thinks I have a crush on one of the boys in my classes. Haruka Sensei was much more helpful, said there was some different chemicals and Thaumaturgical processes in girls and boys and they make us act differently. Maybe because I’m not use to it like the other girls is the problem. They don’t seem as moody as I’ve been. I wonder if a different diet will help me get these emotions under control. I have been thinking of switching to just water and rice to start training my essence again, maybe I should just make the change and see if it helps.

I suppose I need to re-write now why I’m keeping a journal. My cousin Sidney suggested it might help me work out my thoughts and help maybe learn how to be a girl or cope with it better. So far it has been more trouble than help, but complaining to a piece of paper does kind of help in a strange way. Also, later I can send off volumes to Sidney. Being a girl and one of the few people I trust (and the only one who knows and remembers my secret) she might be able to advise me how to live with myself. She’s already given me a good rundown on things I needed to know thankfully. (How do girl’s put up with this every month?) Also she claims to be worried about me, and not over my secret. She says that I need to make friends and such. But as this is the forth journal, I suspect I’ll miss something I wrote about before. I don’t have time to fill everything back in; I’ll miss what’s going on now if I do that, so I’ll just have to catch things up as I go.

So, anyway, I believe I have become a kind of hostage of the student council. They keep finding me around the school and bringing me with them to the student council room. Honestly I don’t have anything better to do these days so I’ve gone along with it.

They have started planning something they have here called the founder’s festival. And apparently it’s a big deal that the student council do something big for it so that they all get reelected next month. They’re planning to put together a band, and they want me to be the lead singer. I tried to dissuade them from this. My siblings always complained, very loudly, about my singing when I was younger. I can’t think of when I last sang now that I think about it.
Anyway, I was sure they would go with Alcyone after hearing me and so did a little try out there in the student council room with the rest of the council. Couldn’t hurt I thought.

But everyone said I should sing in the band when they heard me. I did such a good job they had me go to work on what “we” would be performing. I ended up spending my day writing music with Alcyone. I kind of remember what I was taught of the piano as a kid so I kind of remember how sheet music looks. It would seem I have another “natural” gift along with acting (oh, more on the acting club and how I got roped into that later.) I wonder if the change brought this on or if I always had the talent after exalting. Wood aspects are natural performers. Maybe that’s it.

I’m taking a short break now. Alcyone went to get Ariko and bring everyone back here.

So, yeah, Ariko. She’s just a little kid, but I don’t think she likes to be called a kid. And I guess she’s earned it so I try not to treat her as one. But I still do by accident. She’s much younger than me but is a practicing sorcerer. I only expanded my own essence to the third rank recently. It happened sometime after the “change” but I didn’t notice it for a few weeks. I’m very worried about what that might mean. But anyway, I worked really hard at it for years. And she’s been rank three for a long time now and is younger than I was when I exalted. And she’s really smart. So I guess in a way she’s processed along the path of enlightenment faster than I have, though by a different route. I wonder if I could learn from her in some way that’ll help my own studies.

If I could get her to remember my secret, I wonder if she could help me with that problem too.

I do worry sometimes though at how fast she’s apparently earned her powers. Not sure how careful she is with them. For example I’m about to meet a demon she’s summoning. A music demon, that’ll be here for over a week. And all to help with “the band.” This kind of screams “bad idea” and “overkill” in my head, but I was kind of out voted.

Now that I think about it, I always get out voted.

I hear fiddle music. I think that’s them so I think I better stop here.

Sora's Diary: 9th of Respl Air

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